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I have never seen an ad for a self help book but this is what I imagine they go like

Small talk is fucking weird. Overall I think the weirdest part is how much absolutely no one cares.  'How was your weekend?' like you give a shit Susan. You're waiting until we're past the polite chatting to talk about your fancy new potholders with the pretty trim and flaunt the fact that your amazingly intelligent little boy has finally gotten himself potty trained two years behind the rest of his class. I think a lot of people hate small talk because they're selfish. They don't care about you, they don't care about your weekend, they don't care about your dog, they're just assholes going through the motions so they can talk about them and  their weekend and their dog.  And it's not a problem. Everyone knows that small talk is just there so you don't make yourself look like an asshole in public. It's a big old masquerade and no one is interested in seeing below the mask. It's weird, but it's what everyone does. Or it's just
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Nail Polish And Mushrooms

Okay so. I don't like painting my nails very often. I also don't like mushrooms. Now, you may be wondering what these two things have in common, and the answer to that is one of my few childhood memories It was the day before Mother's Day. To celebrate, (because my family was Christian and celebrated the day before and went to church the day of) my mom bought pizza and helped me paint my nails with some cheapy nail polish she found. This was when I was little and nail polish was a Big Deal™, so I was very excited. But also very small. And very very susceptible to sticking things that smelled like strawberries into my mouth. Though, to defend younger me's eating of the special Mother's Day nail polish, I have always had a bad habit of chewing on my nails. So it's not like I only consumed it because it smelled good, I also didn't realize that biting your nails isn't the best idea when wearing nail polish until I had almost no nail polish left on my hands.
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h

 what kinds of things does one post on a blog?
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putting titles where I forgot to the first time pt 2

I think it is a crime that no one can see how carefully formatted my posts are without clicking read more. I could literally be typing in wingdings and you wouldn't even know.  I mean I'm not because that's ridiculous but I could be. edit: apparently blogger.com does NOT have wingdings as a font option so apparently no I couldn't be, but you guys get what I mean.
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putting titles where I forgot to the first time pt 1

 I'm gonna use this exactly like Tumblr and none of you can stop me
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it is eleven thirty at night and yet i am impulse blogging

 this is it. the first post of my new blog that i just made and spent thirty minutes messing around with themes on. i am the most powerful being alive. is there any way to change this font though? oh wait that was in the theme hold on- that's better. actually no it isn't okay one sec lemme find smth good indie flower? architects daughter? shadows into light? idk what i'm doing anymore.
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